It is the eccentric, sedulously assiduous and unwarranted trepidation of falling in love.The risk is customarily when a person has confronted any emotional turmoil relating to love in the past but additionally can be chronic phobia.

So, the question is…


“Are you afraid of falling in love ?”

in my case, i should add a word which is “again”. So i have to ask you guys, “Are you afraid of falling in love again ?”

Fear plays an astronomically immense role in relationships, and two fears in particular cause some of the most voluminous quandaries. If you understand how these two fears work, you’re much more liable to magnetize a salubrious relationship into your life.

When you’re in a frighteningly eerie situation — Let’s imagine you’re confronted by a tiger — it’s facile to ken what you’re feeling. You’re afraid. And you keen that what’s causing the trepidation is a very definite threat to your physical wellbeing

ear has a purport. It is designated to bulwark you. You want to get the heck away from that tiger as expeditious as possible. And, fear compels you to take action.

When it comes to relationships, fear is remotely harder to identify. Most of the time you’re not precisely sweating bullets and fearing for your life. You probably don’t have such a vigorous visceral replication. But the trepidation is just as valid.

We’ve found that relationship-predicated fears (some call it “fear of intimacy”) incline to come in two main flavors. And both accommodate the same purport: to make you safe. Unfortunately, they also keep you from having a close, doting relationship.

Let’s take a close look at this and how it transpires.

Let’s say,

“With authentic bliss comes authentic pain.”

Any time we fully experience true ecstasy or feel the preciousness of life on an emotional level, we can expect to feel a substantial amount of dolefulness. Many of us shy away from the things that would make us most jubilant, because they additionally make us feel pain. The antithesis is withal true. We cannot selectively numb ourselves to dolefulness without numbing ourselves to ecstasy. When it comes to falling in love, we may be hesitant to go “all in,” for trepidation of the woefulness it would stir up in us.

“Love is often unequal.”

Many people I’ve talked with have expressed hesitation over getting involved with someone, because that person “likes them an exorbitant amount of.” They worry that if they got involved with this person, their own feelings wouldn’t evolve, and the other person would wind up getting hurt or feeling repudiated. The truth is that love is often imbalanced, with one person feeling more or less from moment to moment. Our feelings toward someone are an ever-transmuting force. In a matter of seconds, we can feel vexation, vexation or even hate for a person we dote. Worrying over how we will feel keeps us from visually perceiving where our feelings would naturally go. It’s better to be open to how our feelings develop over time. Sanctioning worry or guilt over how we may or may not feel keeps us from getting acquainted with someone who is expressing interest in us and may avert us from composing a relationship that could authentically make us ecstatic.

Most relationships bring up an onslaught of challenges. Getting acquainted with our anxiety of intimacy and how they apprise our comportment is a paramount step to having a consummating, long-term relationship. These trepidations can be masked by sundry justifications for why things aren’t working out—but we may be surprised to learn about all of the ways that we self-sabotage when we get proximate to someone else. By getting acquainted with ourselves, we give ourselves the best chance of finding and maintaining lasting love.

Until then, ciao.

Why do we say “I Love You” Before we sleep ?

I Love You probably is the most famous words in the world. there’s a lot of articles and pictures about how to say “I Love You” but it seems no one knows what it really really means. It seems kinda spiritual, kinda out there. Some say you can feel it but you can’t see it.

Parents usually says ” I Love You” to their kids before go to sleep. Why ?

by WhisperFall

When we sleep, we don’t know what will happen next. Unless, you can see the future, but no… i’m just a normal person like any other human out there. When we sleep,we go to the dreamland, Have something we can’t afford, or reach, or be with someone we never could have. Or maybe, we could probably be dead, Forever sleeping, Forever resting. That’s why i probably wrote this.

Saying something that is so sacred will be meaningless if we repeat it over and over,Hell… even saying something normal over and over would make it meaningless. But, something is different when we said that words before we go to sleep, why ? because we fully give our faith to something that’s not there (well probably if your’e a religious person you give that to god).

What if, the last sentence you give to somebody, it’s their last words someone gave to them ? you want it to looks good right? maybe that’s why a lot of people said that words right before we go to sleep, well… including me. Just imagine, your last words to somebody you really really love is “I LOVE YOU” beautiful ain’t it ?

That’s probably something i really wanna share for the last couple of days, been stuck in my head for weeks, i just need to spit it out and the only media that could deliver my words is my only blog. Also, if it’s not their last words they received that words is still


it’s still beautiful.


Ambiverts have introvert and extrovert traits, but in balance. See if you recognize any of these ambivert traits: Ambiverts are more flexible. They don’t really prefer one way of functioning over the other.



Are you an introvert or an extrovert ? You probably already have some melodic theme . Personality -type testing is commons in school and the workplace. Understanding personality character helps us identify strengths, pinpoint failing , and cooperate better with others.

The two personality character are polar opposites of one another, yet for the longest time, you were just one or the other, to some degree.

There’s a far more common personality type, though–one that falls in the centre of the introverted-extroverted spectrum . See, in edict to be either an introvert or an extrovert, you have to be heavier in one type of trait than the other.

Ambivert, the Lost Personality Case More outspoken, socially maven people who venture forth with confidence are easy to peg as extroverts. Those who isolate themselves, are more ball , public lecture less, and prefer to stay out of the calcium light clearly leaned toward intussusception .

Could it really be that simpleton , though? Not according to Carl Jung, who identified a third personality type on the introverted-extroverted spectrum–but it’s one that we hardly hear anything about. In the classic Psychological Character , Jung wrote:

“There is, finally, a third chemical chemical group ing … the most numerous and includes the less differentiated normal man … He constitutes the extensive centre group.”

This middle group consists of the ambiverts. Extroverts Make Better Salespeople … Or So We Thought Ambiverts are not only more common that you might think but also more successful and influential. In his 2013 enquiry paper Rethinking the Extraverted Sales Ideal: The Ambivert Advantage, The Edith Wharton School ‘s Adam M. Grant examined the correlational statistics between extroversion and Synonyms/Hypernyms (Ordered by Estimated Frequency) of noun sale aptitude. It’s long been assumed that being extroverted makes one a better sales representative . Grant found that the family relationship between extroversion and sales performance is actually quite weak.

So who does it better? The ambiverts.

“Ambiverts achieve greater sales productivity than extravert or introverts do,” he wrote. “Because they naturally engage in a flexible blueprint of talk and listening, ambiverts are likely to express sufficient assertiveness and enthusiasm to persuade and close a sale but are more inclined to listen to customer ‘ interests and less vulnerable to appearing too excited or overconfident.”

The Ambivert Advantage What is it that makes ambiverts more successful in sale , with trait that surely translate into success and influence in other areas as well?

In one word: rest . Ambiverts have introvert and extrovert trait , but in balance. See if you recognize any of these ambivert traits:

Ambiverts are more flexible. They preceptor ‘t really prefer one way of functioning over the other. Mateo Sol described ambiverts as “… the neutral , middle -ground hippies … equally comfortable in situation where the introvert feels most at home and the extravert is having a good fourth dimension .”

They’re more emotionally horse barn . Extrovert are not easily influenced by outside factors, while introvert are hypersensitive. Ambiverts offering a good balance between the two and are referred to as the stability “normal” by famed psychologist Han dynasty Eysenck, who coined the terminus “ambivert” in 1947. Ambiverts are intuitive. This is a quality that serves them well in life and in patronage . As journalist Daniel K. Pink wrote, ambiverts “know when to speak up and when to shut up, when to inspect and when to respond, when to energy and when to hold back.”

They’re more influential. In Ulysses Simpson Grant ‘s 5 senses of sale experiment, ambiverts earned average minute ly revenues of $155–twenty-four % higher than extrovert s. Multitude at either extreme remnant of the introvert-extrovert scale had the worst 5 senses of sale , while those smack in the middle had the highest, at $208 per hour. There you go. The next time someone asks you your personality case , you won’t have to trip-up through some explanation of how you’re extroverted in some situations but have introverted moments–and don’t identify completely with one or the other.

Just tell them you’re an ambivert. Probability are that’s exactly what you are–an ambivert, as most of us are.


Photo by : Nick Falkner

No, not that tv shows about some dudes and chicks who got lost in a deserted island no.

I’m talking about lost in the place where you shouldn’t be.


(i hope) It’s going to be deep.



First thing first, i have to ask. do you ever feel lonely in a crowded place ? yes, i’m talking about the gorgeus photo from Nick Falkner on the above, then you might be interested about what i’m going to write today. And yes, i almost always feel that thing. if you do too, hi5 bro.

do you have friends ? or a community ? ever feel like you’re being unwanted ? maybe you’re getting a loneliness, note that lonely is different than being alone. Loneliness could happen in a very very crowded place like when you’re waiting for the train to comes up, when you’re in traffic jam, in class, or even in your own house. see, loneliness happens when we feel anxious feelings about a lack of connection or communication with others.It could happen by emotional things, or maybe social events, or even mental state.

People can experience loneliness for many reasons, like the shortage of friendship relations during childhood or teenage, or the physical lack of meaningful people around a person. At the same time, loneliness may be a symptom of another social or psychological problem, such as depression.a lot of teen experience loneliness after a breakup, for the people who already married,a divorce or loss of any important long-term relationship. In these problems, it may come both from the loss of a specific person and from the withdrawal from social circles lead to by the event or the correlated sadness.

There is a small thin wall between lonely and alone. Loneliness is happens cause lack of connection between relation, while the other, alone is caused by lack of contact with other people, like i said, a person could feel lonely in a crowded place, while instead one can be alone in their own favourite place and not feel lonely at all. Being alone is not that bad, for example people who is ten to being alone could explore their creativity to the max.

Solitude has been linked with melancholy, and is thus a jeopardy factor for suicide,i.e. comities or altruistic conceptions, as the main reason for what he called egoistic suicide.In adults, solitude is a major precipitant of dejection and alcoholism. People who are convivially isolated may report poor slumber quality, and thus have diminished restorative processes. Solitude has additionally been linked with a Schizoid character type in which one may optically discern the world differently and experience gregarious alienation, described as the self in expatriation.

There is a way to avoid this, you know… like, Challenge yourself to take the initiative in convivial relationships. Don’t wait for people to approach you: you should approach them. Ask the person if they optate to chat or get a coffee. You must always show interest in other people afore they will show interest in you, if they ever do.Work on ameliorating and making yourself blissful. Conventionally, when we’re devoting most of our time to other people, we incline to neglect ourselves. If you’re going through a period of solitude, capitalize on it by doing the things that you optate to do for yourself. This is a sublime opportunity and you should be blissful!

This last paragraph is not important as other paragraphs, but hey. i’m just trying to help other who feels the same like me, i’m one of the people who is having a stress by a loneliness. just for your information, i have stopped coming to my community’s meeting, because… i don’t really feel accepted there, sad. i know. although i love them for being what they are, i still love them, i still have a lot of memories there, and even if i don’t attend mandatory meeting anymore, i still have 1 more year to be with them, and i decided to use that span of time to the fullest. i don’t have to tell what the name of my community right ? yes. thank you.                                                                          and also, if you ever feel so alone, contact me ! maybe i could help ! here. i’ll give you my personal’s chat messaging accounts ! 🙂

LINE : Basyandira

Whatsapp : (+62)83897780540

Snapchat : Basyadira

this three are the apps that i opened regularly when i was bored, i open it up on my phone mostly, so i could respond ASAP. anyway, today’s story end here. i hope you have a good friends and have a nice week ! bye ! 😀


5 Fakta tentang (ergh) Cinta.

Cuih, i know. i recently have a (good for me) bad breakup. which is really really rough at those times, and i think i wanna share something i learn from it. I always believe that quotes that says “You come into my life, either you’re a blessing or a lesson.” and this one, is a whole big big big lesson. let’s goooh. Indonesia ya bahasanya huahahah


1. Hubungan serius, itu ada di dunia fauna.

Meskipun kita sering menganggap diri kita sebagai spesies yang setia, kita bukan satu-satunya dalam kerajaan hewan. Serigala, angsa, burung bangkai hitam, elang laut dan bahkan rayap  cari jodoh untuk seumur hidup.

2. Cuman butuh waktu 4 (5 deh tergantung mata lo picek apa kagak) buat suka sama orang.

Jika Anda ingin membuat kesan yang baik pada seseorang, Anda hanya punya sekitar 4 menit untuk melakukannya. Hal ini diyakini bahwa ia memiliki hubungan yang lebih dalam dengan bahasa tubuh Anda, nada dan kecepatan suara Anda ada nilai yang ber beda beda di awal pertemuan.

3.Kalo misal ada 2 sejoli yang tatap mata, denyut jantungnya bakalan sama.

Beberapa riset luar biasa telah menemukan bahwa pasangan yang sedang jatuh cinta dan ada ikatan dalam hubungan mereka menyinkronkan denyut jantung mereka setelah menatap mata satu sama lain selama tiga menit.

4.Efek Jatuh cinta sama kayak lu ngisep kokain.

Jatuh cinta (katanya) seperti ngisep kokain, karena kedua pengalaman mempengaruhi otak sama dan memicu sensasi berupa euforia. Penelitian menemukan bahwa jatuh cinta menghasilkan beberapa bahan kimia euforia yang merangsang 12 area otak pada saat yang sama, Persis kayak kokain.

5. Berpelukan bisa meredakan sakit.

Oxytocin, yang disebut cinta atau hormon berpelukan, yang dihasilkan selama pelukan atau berpelukan. Hormon ini muncul dalam otak, indung telur dan testis dan diduga terlibat dalam proses ikatan. Penelitian telah menemukan bahwa dosis oksitosin menurun sakit kepala secara signifikan, dan untuk beberapa rasa sakit hilang sepenuhnya setelah 4 jam. It is definitely worth it untuk mencoba berpelukan sebelum nyoba minum bahan kimia dan pil.


I think that’s all. i actually wanna start a gaming channel in youtube, but my mic is broken recently and i don’t have any mic for now so i think i will try to do gaming channel that plays without webcam. wish me luck guys